Support Systems

November 29, 2012

You need support systems. Sorry, but that is the bottom line. There is no pretending that you can do everything by yourself because, let’s face it, you can’t do it alone. I was one of those people who believed that for a long time. I honestly thought that I could handle the world without anyone helping me through and it worked for awhile. I had friends, of course, but I never really depended on them for any sort of help. I think that I almost found them weak when they asked for my help. That makes me sound mean, but I truly believed that you needed to be able to handle all of life without the aid of someone else to be an adult. It was then that I began to really keep everything in. The truth is that my mom was busy being a parent to a child who needed it and I was busy trying to be an adult.

I would like to say that I have grown past this logic, but I haven’t. This is something that I am trying to work on in order to make myself a better person. I would recommend it to everyone as well. You need to sometimes just talk. Even if you gain nothing more from the experience aside from the fact that you said it, that should be enough. If you don’t lean on people every once in awhile, then you will crack.

I am really great at holding everything together for years a time. I can convince everyone that I am doing fine, even when I’m not. But, life starts to add up. Let’s be honest, everything starts to take it’s toll and you need to take a step back sometimes. When you start to get into this mind set, you start to lose control. I spiral. It is my friends who are there to help pull me out.

The people that you have in your life are suppose to be there to help you. If there are really on your team they will be there to listen to you, but you have to speak. Never be afraid to say how you are actually feeling because, as cliché as it is, “the truth will set you free.” They will stand by you even if what you are feeling is irrational because you stand by them when they are feeling the same way. Hold onto the people in your life that will make sure that what you are feeling is validated.

I have learned one thing and that is that being adult is not about being able to handle everything by yourself, but it is about being able to push through. Sometimes, that means that you need to lean on people to get to where you need to be. Being an adult is the ability to be resilient and move past what you have going on in your life.